While on the boat, the two managed to fall in love despite their first class-steerage status. What challenges would they have navigated? Would their love have kept their relationship afloat? Or would the differences in their upbringing and bank account sizes have tipped their relationship over? These are some of the questions that sparked this thread on Reddit about couples who grew up in different socioeconomic classes. Ryan, Reddit user morepantsroom, is a bank teller from Kansas City. His fiancee, Libby, is a teacher.
Do you have any idea how hot it is to watch your boyfriend chop wood? Having love in common: But mixed-collar relationships aren't just happening because husband-hungry women are venturing outside their own social circles to find marriageable men, per Birger's thesis.
Rather, it seems that mixed-collar relationships happen simply because both partners are compatible. We've been together since.
Emily is not blind to the class differences between her and Alex. When she first met his parents, for instance, she was a little surprised when she had to sleep on the couch for the stay and his family ordered pizza for dinner.
The Truth About "Mixed-Collar" Dating — From the People Who Make These Relationships Work
Their relationship works simply because "we enjoy the simple pleasures and, fuck, he makes me laugh. Bridging that wide gap: We can pretend we live in a classless society all we want, but there are nonetheless a few inevitable speed bumps that come with mixed-collar relationships.
For instance, money is cited by most couples as one of the biggest sources of fights and stress.
Navigating a relationship where your outlooks about money differ can exacerbate the tension of dating someone of a different economic status. In her research, Streib found that people from different classes tend to approach their relationships differently. White-collar professionals like to manage and organize things, while working-class people like to "go with the flow more. Kim, for example, has noticed that Zach tends to dream bigger than she dares.
I view home ownership as totally out of reach for me, and I hesitate to get financially involved with him.Intercultural Couples on Miscommunication
He dreams about luxury items like boats and RVs. I just dream about paying off my student loans. Nonetheless, couples in mixed-collar relationships say there's a fairly easy way to transcend economic differences: Letting go of a checklist: People who enter relationships with a "come as you are" attitude often have the most long-lasting ones.
That's not going to work, especially if it's class difference — it's just going to be a frustrating experience for both people" Streib told New York magazine. Couples in mixed-collar relationships echoed this sentiment, saying that in order for such relationships to thrive, you need to detach from both your personal and social expectations of who your partner "should" be. Among other things, that means keeping your ego in check if you're dating someone who has a higher level of education or makes more money than you do.
It also means relaxing some of your personal expectations for who and what your ideal partner "should" be. That doesn't mean settling so much as it means figuring out what really matters to you in a relationship.
In most cases, the answer usually isn't whether your partner makes a six-figure salary or has a master's degree.
Dating different backgrounds
Is this a sweet, kind person who will really make me happy? That's what I found with my boyfriend. Related stories by this author. While some people want the safety and predictability of marrying someone with a personality like their own, others prefer someone with a completely opposite personality.
It can be exciting and thrilling, but also challenging. The shidduch matchmaking system was crafted to facilitate an independent thought process in choosing a mate. Whether you go the shidduch route or not, it is important to go into the process of dating for marriage with these things firmly in mind. Here are some factors to keep in mind when dating someone from a different background:.
Common Goals and Values: Do you value the same things in life and see yourselves heading in the same direction in terms of the future of your relationship and a home together?
A relationship without respect cannot survive. Parents who are on the same page send children a message of consistency and safety. When they love both, they are caught in the middle.
Can you accept and love this person for who they are without feeling you need to change them?