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I would ask him. I feel like the residents I've worked with are just trying to survive at any given point of the day, and, when off are trying to prepare for the next. In my previous relationships, I'm much more present in person- I never look at my phone and just focus on catching up. When things get busy I often see texts that are non-urgent and can't think of what to say to them unless it's a half-hearted response.
I think it may be in some ways easier when you live with your partner because the hours of free time you have on weekdays you can relax and talk with them. This rings very true, because when he does have time for a texting conversation, I know I have his full attention.
And even more so in person. I would definitely rather have this than someone who half asses conversation and sees me as another obligation! I guess what I meant by half-assing is that I do want to spend time with my SO, but would feel guilty if I didn't make them feel special, were being given my full attention etc.
I wouldn't consider it a real date if I just ordered take-out and sat on the couch and watched TV, but kinda realizing now that some people are ok with that.
Or if I were half-asleep and wasn't really able to be fully present. I think in this case, he probably doesn't see you as much as an obligation. He probably would feel guilty if you went on a lame date or did something that obviously was centered around his convenience. Or maybe I'm just projecting haha. And I really do appreciate the effort he puts in.Successful Med School Relationships
Not a compromise inasmuch as it is a different way of doing things. So although I'm married to a resident and am myself seeking to apply into an IM residency this year. I can share some perspective on how my relationship evolved during my spouses residency and how we learned to grow with it. You mentioned that your relationship started around his second year which means that the worst part of his residency intern year is over.
For the second year it's really dependant on the person himself how he or she handles that. Some become ultra competitive to get into a good fellowship program and actually become more busy over time with case reports , audits to boost their CV.
Some still have trouble finding their feet and adjusting to a more senior position and possibly carrying over the residual stress from their intern year onto the next which is fairly common in many Northeast residency programs. And thankfully there's some like myself who found ways to make each and every free time , golden weekend.
Or a holiday to be an opportunity to take a road trip , book a holiday ,. Go out shopping or to the movies and anything at all that gives the relationship a nice little boost and makes our time all the more precious. For that the resident needs to be able to compartmentalise and have found some stable footing and comfort level with the program.
Dating in residency: Looking for ‘the one’ while training
We were able to maintain a pretty steady gym routine even during her ICU rotations which have the worst hours 36 hour calls every 4th day. Texting however is tricky when my spouse is at work. I don't feel comfortable knowing that there's probably someone coding or a distressed family is being delivered some troubling news while my spouse's phone is ringing off due to me so I've learned to avoid doing that and wait for her to text first.
Less thinking involved less of an effort. And more time to slowly unwind and shift back into non work mode. Hope that helps abit. Everyone on my team has spent the past week working hours a day, fully absorbed in the tasks at hand, nearly nonstop, with one day off each.
Today I didn't even have time to sit down and eat a fork-and-knife meal, let alone stop and read someone's texts and think of an answer and send it. Even sitting on the toilet I'm running through and prioritizing the list of tasks I need to do as soon as I leave.
Dating someone in medical residency
Honestly, how would you feel in that position? When I get home, all I want to do is spend my 3 hours of non-sleep non-work free time staying caught up on my chores, getting myself showered and my bag packed for the next day, and minimizing screen time so I can fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Your not confident r independent enough to date a resident. They are literally living in the hospital with very little down time, usually is enough to eat, shower and sleep before thy hav to do another 24 to 48 hour shift. Thank you for the advice! Ali go right to my point:. What threw me off was that he texted quite a lot at first, but not this week.
I highly suggest you stop fixating on him and continue to live your life the same way you did before you met him and date other men instead of driving yourself crazy.
What I mean by make allowances is to understand he does not have a regular job…his time is not free since he gives much of his life to his patients. And women who marry doctors have to make allowances for the fact their spouse may not be with them for parties, holidays, etc. Much of their time is spent alone and they do a lot of the child rearing. This is not for everyone, for sure.
If you get with an engineer they mostly have a day job…if you get with a doctor they have crazy hours and are on call. A woman has to know this upfront and deal. Now, if he has gone radio silent that would not be acceptable either…he could text or call you more often. Your just living your life, meeting and dating men without any goal or objective until enough time has passed getting to know him well enough to even consider him as a good candidate.
All my long-term relationships were when I had zero romantic feelings for them but over-time several months they grew on me and decided to give him a shot became a couple. But I think I would have gotten one text by now?
Is this radio silence? Just short-term dating but I still want to have fun.
Doctors marry doctors or nurses because they get each other. He may have just had a quiet week when he was able to talk a lot or think about dating. Does that apply here too? Sure, quiet for a few days, for a really busy person is not that big of a deal.
Hi, I have a really good friend, not a boyfriend, but we are important one another. On top of this, right now he has a lot of personal stuff to deal with — finding a new flat, seeing his grown up children weekends, dealing with his divorce and selling his business.
But he finds time for me, and I know he does for other friends, because he cares enough to do so. He lives a long way from me, but we meet about once a month. So what I am saying is that I think if a friend can find the time, a boyfriend certainly should not let a week go by with no contact, however busy he is!
Before posting here I was thinking a week max too. Honestly I think I can consider it about a week by now right? Is there a way to find out?
On your own dime. But it also means he has ultimate responsibility for his patients, both ethically and legally. You will buy expensive disability insurance, malpractice insurance, and life insurance to provide a snippet of comfort for the great, unknowable future.
Your husband will still round every weekend. You and your husband are truly a team, even though things are not always equal.
In , the same year she moved cross-country again! If she had to choose one issue to dedicate her life to, it would be gender equality.
Your email address will not be published. This one is different. You can feel it in your bones. A year would have been just fine. Whether you like it or not, you are both married to medicine.
Just remember that you chose one another.