By | 13.02.2019

Think, that dating an employee idea simply

Should You Date Your Boss?

By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy , Privacy Policy , and our Terms of Service. I run a small company and am wondering what the consequences are of starting up a romantic relationship with one of my employees, and how it will affect my business and relationship with other employees. I know romantic relationships with people who work under you are discouraged, however why are they discouraged? It is a very risky business. Other employees may end up resentful and there will be a drop of productivity if so.

There is a chance but it's a very small chance that things will not end up catastrophically for both or either of you. A certain level of unprofessionalism will be displayed by one or both of you, which will disturb the workplace and might cause problems with your clients. Please accept this as a very sincerer advice.

Looking at the wording of your original question, I'm almost certain that you will display unprofessional behaviour and in turn cause disturbance in the workplace. The OP is asking why it is bad between subordinates, not why it is bad at the work place.

The issue is one of perception. Many will perceive that the relationship is not one of mutual, personal romance. But instead a relationship based on leveraging company opportunities and company money for manager's dating opportunities. If you think that having a poor perception of both your company and your relationship with this person is acceptable, then go for it.

Lastly, keep in mind that some people do come into companies with the open mindedness of dating their coworkers. Others already have relationships or established dating lives or do not want to date anyone. There are many different perspectives and differences in the workplace.

Bare that in mind. Someone people only want to work for your company for money making opportunities only, and will see this as a poor decision. It's not an easy one to make. Because if they don't, and you approach them, the subordinate may rightly think that saying no could harm them professionally. If pressured to enter a relationship or even just hearing your advances can be considered sexual harassment in most jurisdictions. Regardless of what you think, you hold a position of power over your staff and you must respect that.

Unfortunately, what you need to do is nothing. Don't bring it up Even mentioning that you had considered it can cause tension. Your feelings are your problem, and should be professional enough to not make your staff subject to unwanted advances.

There are some good answers here from the company point of view, but look at it from the human point of view, too:. I know I leave a great deal of my personal interests in the parking lot when I arrive to work. I focus on my work and ensuring that I am supporting my coworkers and meeting my objectives. I don't bring much else.

Since you are a business owner, I imagine you are much the same. Your employee may also be the same, meaning everything you see about them "lines up" with you, but you are both likely leaving a huge amount of who you are outside the workplace unexamined.

How do you even know you would be compatible? How could you ever have a relationship of equals when you have power over their means to make a living?

The power dynamic in a relationship can get really messed up if there is a disparity in income between the two. You are the income source for the other person. How could you ever hope to have an equal, balanced relationship?

You would feel personally betrayed if they took it. They would be resentful if they didn't take it because of this relationship. No one would ever have a "gripe session" about the company with them. No one would trust them with any confidence, believing and rightfully so they were more loyal to you than anyone else. I'm sure you're the world's greatest boss, but running a business means making your employees unhappy in order to satisfy your customers.

That's why you have to pay employees in the first place. Would you avoid giving them difficult assignments or "problem" customers in order to safeguard your relationship. Maybe not consciously, but it would happen. Your interest is always late, but you cut them some slack because you took them out the evening before and you feel it's partially your fault. Bob isn't getting a fair shake. Now, the only way to fix this is to not work at the same company.

Who has to leave and who gets to stay? Who gets to pick? In your case, you and the company are the same thing, but not so in most situations. Say I'm a rock-star senior salesman, been in the biz 20 years and have 5 or 6 million in annual sales that I bring in. You're an inside sales rep who answers to me supporting my customers. We get serious, and it becomes a problem in the workplace. You would have a hard time finding another job in a slow economy, but I can hop over to "Brand X" and bring at least 2 million in sales with me.

Brand X says, "Great. How do you think your chances of promotion are, now? That's why intra-office dating is never a good idea. Working with a spouse is another potential disaster, but for entirely different reasons. In the case of two people who happen to be employed by the same company, but don't have any work relationship, it's mostly Ok, at least as long as their relationship is fine, and even after that, if they manage to separate cleanly - which many people manage to do, and if one or both can't, then you had troublesome people anyway.

The exception is companies that are very security conscious, for example a bank, which may have lots of protections against crooked employees, but not against two crooked employees working together. In the case of supervisor and subordinate: That is asking for serious trouble, because that supervisor is always in danger of giving preferential treatment to their relationship, which then will cause trouble for everyone involved and around them.

So a company will try to split them up. Which will hamper someone's career. Which is Ok-ish if you are getting married I would still have married my wife if it had cost one of us our jobs, and she would have married me , but for a fresh relationship that is very bad.

In the case of company owner and subordinate: For the subordinate it's a very dangerous game. Worse than supervisor and subordinate, because there is no HR or boss stopping the company owner, if things go wrong.

For the boss it's a huge opportunity to demonstrate either that he or she is a decent human being, or that he or she is no such thing. In the case of supervisor: So this should only be done if both sides are really, really sure that this is the one.

On the other hand, if two people seriously want to be in a relationship, their jobs shouldn't stop them. In that case you both do your best to stay professional while persuing your relationship, and accept the consequences. By clicking "Post Your Answer", you acknowledge that you have read our updated terms of service , privacy policy and cookie policy , and that your continued use of the website is subject to these policies.

Home Questions Tags Users Unanswered. Why are romantic relationships with someone who works under you discouraged? Rachel 6, 8 43 Hi Dave, I've modified your question to address the concerns raised by Chad, and have voted to reopen it. If I've changed it too much from your original question, feel free to edit it further or roll back the changes.

That's easy and it can be answered in three words so I won't post it as an actual answer "Conflict of interest". Even if you are "sure" that you can handle things professionally and keep work and social life separated. Don't forget that a relationship consists of two people. I knew this PhD guy once. His wife was also a PhD in the same field.

They met and started dating when she was studying under him. How could THAT go wrong, right? They probably broke all sorts of university regulations and crossed a bunch of boundaries. But hey, happily married with 2 kids. Dating subordinates is almost always a bad idea, except when it's a great idea.

Now 6 months later have you found out? Ok let's be blunt and share some of the negative consequences I have personally experienced or observed from bosses dating their subordinates: I have seen people promoted over qualifed people to jobs they were neither qualified for nor good at.

I have seen an unsatisfactory performance appraisal which was well-deserved be changed to an Outstanding I have seen more qualifed people quit rather than work for the unqualifed person promoted over them I have seen a co-worker flash her sexual parts in a meeting after she and the boss had had a fight.

Dealing With Personal Relationships at Work: Dating at Work

To say this made everyone else in the room uncomfortable is a mild understatement. I have heard them having sex in his office during work hours which made for very uncomfortable meetings later on the same offce.

I have seen a subordinate who had no business knowing about a performance issue with another employee, come to work and brag about how she knew and how much trouble the other person would be in. I have seen bad suggestions implemented because they came from the person who was in the relationship even though all the entire rest of the staff objected to the decision.

BTW some of these decisions lost the company a good deal of money. I have seen the entire staff complain to higher managers about a problem which the couple involved vehemently denied was happening.

Manager & Employee Dating

The couple almost always thinks their relationship is causing no issues whatsoever. I have seen the workplace become absolutely toxic when the relationship breaks up until the subordinate finds a another job or is fired. I have seen clients be appalled at the unprofessional behavior a person in a relationship exhibited in front of them and the manager not care to fix the problem because it would disrupt his social life. Keep the personal and professional separate by not allowing there to be crossover.

DaveM - Dave, Dave, Dave. You're attracted to someone at work, and he or she is attracted to you. You share the same hours and some of the same interests. You're both responsible adults. But getting intimate with an employee is deceptively complicated. It can lead to everything from a loss of respect among your staff to a sexual harassment lawsuit. In short, it can be one of the most serious threats to a restaurant manager's career. And if you pride yourself on having a hands-on management style and being very personal and casual with your employees, then you probably know more about your employees' personal lives than even their loved ones.

They probably think they know a great deal about you, too.

Dating an employee

Add in that you write the schedules, assign stations, issue reprimands and write-ups: In other words, you control the situation. Do you see a potential problem? At some point in your career, you may find it very tempting to have a drink, then date, or in corporate language fraternize with your employees.

It might start by accidentally meeting after work when you've stopped in for a drink. It may be at a casual get-together when several employees urge you to join them after a tough shift.

Whatever the circumstances, it often starts innocently enough. Even more ominous is when you find yourself attracted to one of your employees, but you believe it won't affect your work environment. You may think you'll be able to keep it a secret.

After all, you are both mature and responsible. No one will find out.

NEVER date your BOSS.. (here's why)

This is a fantasy. First, rumors will start. There are no secrets in the restaurant business. Eventually, someone will confront you. Panic will set in because you will have no idea what to do about it. There are really only two possible outcomes when you date an employee. One is that you will fall in love and live happily ever after. The second and most probable outcome is that you will break up.

How difficult is this to deal with? Think about the worst breakup that you've had with a significant other. Pretty bad wasn't it? Now picture that happening in front of everyone at work. At best, you'll be pitied by the staff members who are sympathetic.


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